scot hacker’s foobar blog
"Dignified" means you live in the lobby of a hotel. -Miles
July 11, 2007

Hair Growing Hat


HairhatBefore there were Shriners driving tiny cars in stupendous fezzes, before the advent of tinfoil-helmet-wearing denizens of alt.black.helicopters, before there was Rogaine and hair transplants and “Ladies will love you” infomercials, there were ordinary Joes just like me seeking ever-elusive hair re-growth methods. Available solutions were on par with perpetual motion machines - like this marvelous Hair Hat advertised in Popular Mechanics, 1928.

This new invention—the result of an experience gained in treating thousands of cases of baldness—is in the form of a new kind of hat. It is worn on the head just 10 minutes a day. No unnecessary fuss of any kind. Just put the hat on your head. Wear it 10 minutes. And that’s all there is to it. Sounds impossible, doesn’t it? All right. Then let me emphasize this fact. I don’t care how thin your hair is. I don’t care how many treatments you have taken without results. Unless my discovery actually produces a new growth of hair on your head in 30 days, then all you need do is tell me so. And without asking one question, I will instantly— and gladly—mail you a check refunding you every penny you have paid me.

How does it work? “My new invention gets right to the cause of most of hair troubles — the starving dormant roots.” I’m thinking the technology was more akin to the placebo effect, but who am I to say?

Music: Bruce Lash :: Small-hoping People

2 Responses to “Hair Growing Hat”

  1. baald:

    any good doctor will tell you that placebo effect is the best medicine. no side effects, known or unknown, no metabolic clearance requirements, no drug companies getting rich, no PDR needed to look something up in, etc…

  2. Scot Hacker:

    Totally! I’m all for placebo. In the case of hair, I wonder if it works on friends (in other words, if I feel like the hair hat works for me, will my friends also be convinced I have more hair?)

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