Gee, there's nothing fun to do anymore since they made music illegal. -Zappa
 
June 30th, 2002

Heptatrema Madonnahood

Okay, which one of you you nutjobs is masquerading as Heptatrema Madonnahood? I swear, I get some seriously messed up email sometimes.

got a shiny new PowerBook. Spent Friday night feeding it spirulina and granola, geeking out w/Mike.

Saturday worked on the MacWorld piece all day.

Sunday house hunting, again no joy. Now getting too close to the baba arriving, afraid we’ll take it too close to the edge and end up not having room ready here in the rental because we were too busy dancing in an impossible market. Have decided to withdraw from the housing market for now, which is really hard because we’ve been at it for 18 months and have met nothing but frustration and defeat, and it’s going to be even harder once Appleseed is here. But there you go. Color us bruised. We’ll pick up the search again in November or so.

Fascinating piece by Tim O’Reilly : The Strange Case of the Disappearing Open Source Vendors, in which Tim quotes another piece by Dale Dougherty saying:

Nike is running a series of bold, new commercials featuring Tiger Woods, who says his contract with Nike doesn’t require him to use its equipment unless he finds it to be the best in the market. He says with amusement that it puts the pressure on Nike to be the best or else. If Microsoft is the best at what it does, then it shouldn’t have to resort to this kind of lock-in of its contract with users. Let us choose the best.
June 27th, 2002

Enjoying Pregnancy

Just want to say how completely and totally we are enjoying Amy’s pregnancy. Every day she gets a little bit rounder – an amazing hemisphere precedes her now – and it gets a little bit more exciting. But it’s not like pregnancy is this thing we have to get through to have the baby – we’re really enjoying watching her body change, all the little signs. Our relationship has never been stronger, more joyous. Everything seems filled with life. I love to rest my hand on her belly, love to rub her with oil (it takes a lot of the strain off on days when it gets too much). We’ve been really lucky so far – everything has gone like clockwork. Birthing classes start soon, and I’m sure it’s all going to get much more intense.

Last weekend at a party we met another old childhood friend – Susannah – and she’s got exactly the same due date – Sept. 16. Weird. That makes four childhood friends all having babies within 3 months of each other. Weird.

We call the baby “Appleseed,” which was what we called it when it was the size of an appleseed and we told one of our nieces and she asked “Are you going to name it Appleseed?” The other night Amy had a book resting on her belly and Appleseed kicked right off from inside. That’s real.

Getting ready for the baby is consuming a huge part of our lives right now, emotionally at least. Reading books, preparing to get the baby’s room ready, figuring out the diaper situation, the circumcision situation, endless naming discussions, all that stuff. Like looking towards any big life change, we move in waves of disbelief – one day it seems like we’re getting used to the idea already, and the next our minds are blown again.

I wonder a lot about what kind of father I’m going to make. I doubt my own abilities. Fortunately, everything I read and everyone I talk to confirms that that is the most natural reaction one can have toward parenting the first time around. You just don’t know how you can possibly do it. But at the same time, you know you can. It will just happen. We will keep our wits, stay happy, stay level, and everything will be fine. I know it will.

June 27th, 2002

Air-Way

I wrote to Air-Way about the Sanitizor lamp I made a while ago, and they actually got back to me. Looks like A and I are now entitled to a half-price vacuum.

Mr. Hacker,

The model you made the lamp from is a model 55 that was produced from 1945 through 1949. Many independent dealers take the top off and use it for an umbrella stand or fill it with sand for an ash tray. Since you own a previous Air-Way you can purchase a new model for 1/2 retail directly from the factory.

Matt/Customer Service

Kind of sad though – their 1940s Sanitizor is about a zillion times more attractive than the contemporary model.

June 27th, 2002

Plato’s Dad

Our cat Plato is 11 years old and his father just died. That fact that I am aware of this fact and that we were able to carry the news to Plato is amazing to me — amazing that a chain of people connected so remotely can stay intact over time and distance – I heard from my wife who heard from an old and occassional friend of hers on the east coast who heard from her antique boyfriend of a decade ago who owned Plato’s father. Wow.

Plato seems sullen today. I think either he understood or he’s tapped into the universoul, as cats are.

ORA blog: SliMP3, iRock, etc.

June 26th, 2002

Shacker Is…

Shacker is:

Shacker is one of six researchers nationwide investigating the use of a cream to treat genital herpes.

Shacker is continuously expanding their product offerings to meet your needs.

The ‘Shacker’ is omnivorous usually eating any Circle K cuisine.

Usually, if the “Shacker” is a female she receives a t-shirt from the resident of the house she stayed at.

Shacker is a derivative of the phrase “shacking up,” used when two unmarried people are sleeping or living together as sexual partners.

At the moment, Mr. Shacker is not sure of the scope of the project but he expects the task to take about a year to complete.

June 25th, 2002

Warchalking

How do you know when you’re within range of an 802.1x network? You can’t look it up online since you’re not online yet, dummy. The latest is warchalking – chalk-tagging the city with somewhat cryptic but easy to understand glyphs for the benefit of geeky passers by.

Nice metaphor: Perl is Internet Yiddish.

Ultimately, Yiddish and Perl share the potentially detractive qualities of complexity and inconsistency, but turn them in their favour due to the huge amount of character they provide. This is because they have History. This has resulted in Culture and Community, and a great degree of affection.

ORA blog: Internet’s founders offer warnings.

June 24th, 2002

Found

In 94, just after birdhouse started up, I had this idea that I wanted to start scanning garbage that floated into our yard in Boston – photos, candy wrappers, personal notes, shopping lists, whatever. I never did get around to it. Fortunately someone did — Amy pointed out FOUND magazine today and it’s amazing, if you like things on the dada side – accidental art, strange and sometimes profound and almost always poignant in an eerie kind of way.

Really enjoying the soundtrack to I Am Sam – Beatles covers by modern groups. You hear surprisingly few Beatles covers because… I guess because they’re hard to cover. But most of these tracks are very good.

June 24th, 2002

OmniWeb Nag

I’ve registered OmniWeb so I don’t see this, but apparently if you use OmniWeb 4.1 in shareware mode, you see this:

“A man in Chicago licensed OmniWeb and the next day he got free fries with his burger. A woman in Des Moines didn’t license it and a week later she stubbed her toe really badly. Coincidence?”

June 23rd, 2002

Splash Guard

Ladies, you may not know this, but in men’s room urinals there are often plastic mesh splash guards at the bottom of the bowl. Their purpose is allegedly to defeat – or at least to minimize – any kind of scattering or splashing activity, and thus keep your trousers crispy clean. At least that’s what I’ve always imagined their purpose to be – personally, I never had a problem with this even at urinals lacking a splash guard.

Anyway. Several years ago, the phrase “Say No To Drugs” suddenly started appearing on some of these splash guards. You’d be merrily peeing along, then would look down to check your aim, and find yourself reading this phrase. Except you wouldn’t just be reading it – you’d also be peeing on it.

We’re all bombarded with messages of all kinds all day long – marketing, propaganda, etc. etc. But we’re not exactly accustomed to peeing on these messages. It seems to me that something about peeing on the message automaticaly subverts its meaning. Like you’re canceling it out by peeing on it. Sure feels that way to me anyway.

So what I want to know is, whose idea was this and also what in hell were they thinking and also how many people had to sign off to get this bizarre idea all the way from whatever corporate boardroom or esteemed think tank came up with it all the way to manufacturing and distribution, and also didn’t it occur to anyone in this entire chain of operations that the message, no matter how well-intentioned (albeit arguably misguided), would essentially be canceled out in the viewer’s mind by the act of peeing all over it?

Life is weird.

June 21st, 2002

Logic Bug

In a dream, was helping other humans to birth whale calfs in shallow water, and cried because I realized I had never done anything as meaningful as that with my life. For the more difficult births, we had a whale birthing facility made of light blue fiberglass. The facility consisted of cavern within cavern of calf birthing rooms built into a hillside, and fiberglass seats built in rows for an audience. Was waiting with several other people in one of these calf birthing rooms for something to happen, and nothing was happening. As I woke up, conscious mind entered and observed that the room was only big enough for a whale calf — about 30′ feet long — and not long enough for the adult mother whale. So there was a logic bug in the dream that had caused it to hang, which is why we were all standing around doing nothing. Unaware we were in a dream, and unaware there was a bug in the dream. Once fully awake I realized this too was wrong, since impossible things happen in dreams all the time – bad logic does not constitute a bug to a dream.

—-

Miniature donkeys are more expensive than one might expect!

June 20th, 2002

Switchers

Walt Mossberg of the Wall Street Journal has a pretty fair and balanced piece on Apple’s switch campaign here. I’m particularly interested in this right now not just as an evangelist in remission, but because the environmental defense law firm I work as a consultant for is ready for a major upgrade. The choices are these:

- Upgrade memory, hard drives, operating systems and apps
- Switch from desktops to wireless laptops
- Go Mac

I know the Mac suggestion is unconventional for lawyer types, and many of their impressions were formed at a time when document compatibility wasn’t nearly what it is today. But for virus and spam reasons alone (I mention spam prevention because the spam blockers built into Entourage for Office X are so incredibly good), I think it’s worth it. Not to mention fewer breakdowns, less confusion, and more reliability with Macs than with PCs. But I would understand if they decide to stay PC. It’s an option, not an agenda item.

So I’ve got that gig coming up (just wrote up a lengthy analysis of these three options and their implications), and a 2,000 word piece for MacWorld due soon, and wrapping up the SKSM job. Birthing classes start in a couple of weeks, and we’re still trying to buy a house. Oh yeah, I still have a full-time job in between everything.

ORA blog: In Search of Perfect Search

June 19th, 2002

BeHive Archive

A BeOS die-hard just pointed out that all my old BeHive columns have gone missing from ZDNet. Reading them over now, I consider most of them embarrassing and somewhat naive, but they’re a record of the time, and of one journalist’s involvement in the platform. They’re historically interesting. So I put up a complete archive of BeHive articles 1996-1998 for the completists.

Update: Thanks to for providing a couple of the missing images from article 6.

June 18th, 2002

Husqvarna

Spent the weekend in North Fork, CA, below Yosemite, at the home of an old surfing buddy and friend from junior high and high school. A simpler life there, near a buddhist monastery. Matt and his wife Stephanie, 4-year-old Lucas and most of their friends all attend the monastery. So a very peaceful time – veggie food, honest people, hot tubbing under the stars (so bright!). Entertained ourselves with improv humor games after dinner.

Highlight: Up the river over a secret path, to a place where eons of bubbling dug amazing huge holes in the granite – bathed in the icy water and dove from rock cliffs, swam through underwater tunnels, ate bagels and carrots in the sun.

Back at the ranch, I goofed around with the mighty Husqvarna on Lucas’s swing:

husqy

Rushed home Sunday for more housing madness. More of the same.

Righteous Mac case hacks – I dig the low-fi.

fork1

June 17th, 2002

Why Americans Don’t Watch Soccer

As Joel Stein neatly summarizes at Time.com,

“There are just two things about the World Cup that prevent Americans from caring: it involves soccer and the rest of the world. We could get over the soccer part eventually — after all, it’s kind of like the soccer we make our suburban children play, only without the goal scoring. But the global part just isn’t going to happen. When I hear that Tunisia is playing Belgium for the crucial Group H runner-up spot, all I want is a map. The only way Americans are going to learn another country’s name is if it attacks us.”

June 17th, 2002

Quick Hits

I want to go on a zip ride.

And you wonder why web developers come home with migraines.

Some among you may wish to install a PC Tachometer

This could be the world’s smallest web site.

I really want to live in an Eichler home.

Teleportation is now real.

Not everyone is enjoying Apple’s new “switch” campaign.

June 11th, 2002

Netsam

Hello,

If you are in possession of blue or red time warping moon crystals,
I need some! Please make me an offer. Please send a (separate email) Email me at: dirtbikel12@aol.com

June 10th, 2002

Liberace’s Lover

In response to my piece Understanding Liberace: Grooving with the Fey Heckler, CNN writes:

We are delighted that Scott Thorson, who claims to be Liberace’s lover, is going to appear on Larry King Live this Wednesday. We would like the promote the interview extensively. I am in charge of promoting it via the Internet and ask for your help.

Would it be possible to promote on your website Scott Thorson, Liberace’s lover, on Larry King Live? This would be done by putting on your web site something as simple as “Watch Scott Thorson discuss being Liberace’s lover for the full hour on CNN’s Larry King Live on Wednesday, June 12th, 2002 at 9 p.m. EST. For more information, please visit www.cnn.com/larryking

All the best,

Eleanor Spektor

June 8th, 2002

Sanitizor Lamp

Found an antique upright cannister vacuum on trash day, decided to make a lamp for the kid’s room out of it. Of course the job ended up taking half the day rather than the couple hours I had expected. Still, it was worth it – I love doing projects like this, and don’t do enough of them anymore. Well, I do, sort of, just not in meatspace. It’s summer – you’re supposed to be out there getting your thumb crimped in the jaws of the pliers when they slip off a spacer hex. New blood blister!

Amy and I both joined the UC Berkeley rec facilities and can now use any of the pools, weight rooms, etc. This morning went up to Strawberry Canyon. Worked out for half an hour, swam, read magazines under the trees. Totally relaxing. Didn’t come home until 3.

Last night out to dinner at La Note with Josh and Minnette. Great time, stuffed silly. The accordionist started playing “Stairway to Heaven” and “Paint it Black”, French cafe’ style. Between this and the Junior Brown show the previous night, it’s getting a little too pomo for comfort around here. Started remembering lyrics to the songs we played in the quote-unquote “band” we had in junior high… which was more like one brilliant musician, plus us embarrassing ourselves.

June 7th, 2002

Junior Brown

Went last night to Slim’s with friends to see the righteous Junior Brown. Holy mother of pearl, this was the most exhilarating show I’ve seen in a long time. Didn’t really have any expectations – just thought it was going to be good country music. So was totally unprepared for the range of this guy. First of all, he plays the “guit-steel” – a double-necked combined guitar and pedal steel guitar in one body. Apparently, the idea for this thing came to him in a dream, and put him on a quest to find a master guitar maker. Sounds great, looks great. He rests it on an elementary-school music stand rather than around the neck.

Four-piece band, all in sharp-fitting silvery suits (suits make such a difference). The bassist a wirey Alabama (?) nerd, flat-top rhythm guitarist, and the drummer an apparent cousin of Samuel Clemens – about 60 and playing a single drum and cymbal. “No city of drums on this stage, ladie and gents – when you know how to play, you only need ONE drum.” And he proved it, too.

They play Johnny Cash / Ernest Tubb-style country – honest stuff. But the thing is, it’s not just country. This is what happens when you grow up hearing Peter Frampton and the Moody Blues and watching Jello-brand gelatin commercials and make country music. It’s not fake country, not camp country – it’s the real deal, but it’s also, like, late 21st century or something. Just stomping, but with these breakout guitar solos that border on freaky, super staccatto hammer-on stuff, Hendrix blues. Like 7 degrees of camp, no more. Maybe a little more. I kept thinking Eugene Chadborne was going to take stage and turn the whole thing inside out.

Towards the end they went into this medley of TV and movie theme songs. It was relentless, punishing, hilarious. Hawaii Five-Oh, Secret Agent Man, Bonanza, I forget what else, but at one point you’re suddenly hearing the five-note aliens theme of “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” played on the guit-steel. The audience busted a gut. Then it got way out – like lightning, he detuned his E string down about three octaves and played the mothership’s part. Back and forth between the human and alien parts, slick as snot. Then suddenly he comes out of Close Encounters and into Dueling Banjos. Like WTF?!!! Just amazing.

June 6th, 2002

LiveJournal, O’Reilly, and RSS

Ack packet via : LiveJournal now supports automatic RSS detection, and you can output your LJ blog in RSS format just by adding /rss to the end of your LJ URL.
Will take some experimenting to figure out how best to take advantage of these new capabilities. My goal is to have the equivalent of an LJ friends page but that also picks up on non-LJ blogs. Don’t have a lot of time for fiddling. Pointers welcome.Meanwhile, O’ReillyNet invited me to post a blog in their authors blog collection. So what I’m going to do is keep my LJ blog for personal / miscellany, but put all my tech-related posts in my ORA blog. I’ll also install a permanent link from this blog to that, eventually.

Jon Udell on Personal RSS aggregators: “The relevance engine that powers the emerging RSS network is, very much like Google’s relevance engine, decentralized and ultimately social in nature. The raw output of the online news collective is filtered for me by people doing what they do best: spotting patterns, alerting the tribe.

June 6th, 2002

Goodbye Bike

Almost a year after the accident, I finally sold the motorcycle. To an Apple employee, no less (WebObjects team). Cool guy. At least I know it’s going to a good home. Not sure why it took me so long. It’s been out of the shop for ages. Just couldn’t bring myself to do it, even though I had already agreed that I wouldn’t be riding it anymore. The guy came to check it out last night, test drove. Offered me a fair price, money for the housing fund. Tonight after work I drove it into SF for him (he was a bit nervous).

But when I got on the bike I realized it was just 35 miles shy of turning 10k miles. No way could that opportunity slip through the fingers. Warm summer evening. The final hurrah. Headed the opposite direction from the highway, up into the Oakland/Berkeley hills, straight for the Grizzly Peak ride. Taking it easy at first, hadn’t done any serious riding in a year, slowly building back up toward the old speeds. But not pushing it. Once bitten and all that. Just felt so good, that time of the day when the light is all golden, everyone is inside eating dinner and watching jeapordy and the hills are on fire with sunset light, smell of pines and eucalyptus, distant ocean smell, the twisties all to myself.

Got really contemplative about it. Of course a big part of me wants to keep the bike and enjoy summer on two wheels. And this other part of me, this new part, that knows so viscerally what happens when you blow it once for a split second, and this other part that’s like genetic programming, self preservation for the sake of the kid (the kid is, after all, the rhetoric I used to sell the bike – “gotta do the dad thing.”) Anyway, I made my peace then and there, leaning into a left hander. Enjoy it this once more, and say goodbye. I feel okay with this. It’s fine.

Gassed up for the buyer and timed it just right – 10,000 miles rolled over on the Bay Bridge heading west into the dusk, the sea all purple on either side, summer night sky coming down, getting cooler. Patted the tank and thanked the bike for the life lessons we took in together, and for all the fun. Got kind of choked up. It was good.

June 4th, 2002

Gummi Louise

Amy started having her first “weird pregnant cravings” the other day – for gummi sharks, of all things. So I bought a pound of gummi and made a gummi mandala for her to come home to.

gummi  amy

Louise got into it too (note little licking of little lips).

gummi louise

June 1st, 2002

Plugging the Analog Hole

This was floating around the other day – Plugging the Analog Hole – a fairly chilling piece on attempts of the entertainment industry to convince lawmakers to clamp down on ALL analog-digital converters. Sound innocuous?

If ADCs are constrained from performing analog-to-digital conversion of all watermarked copyrighted works, you might end up with a cellphone that switches itself off when you get within range of the copyrighted music on your stereo; a camcorder that refuses to store your child’s first steps because he is taking them within eyeshot of a television playing a copyrighted cartoon; a camera that won’t snap your holiday moments if they take place against the copyrighted backdrop of a chain store such as Starbucks, which forbids on-premises photography because its fixtures are proprietary works.

Stay tuned.